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REVIEWS
(Written 1999-2000)
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Castlevania
Rating: 80%
Genre: Occasional breaks from standard survival horror titles
Appeal: Longtime fans who could accept that 3D isn't a terrible evil
The nice people at Konami did an outstanding job bringing their famous series into 3D.  There's lots of good old fashioned monster-whipping sprinkled with adventure elements and an actual plot.  It's no Symphony of the Night, though.  An enhanced version of this game titled Castlevania: Legacy of Darkness was released about ten months after the original.

Doom 64
Rating: 70%
Genre: Doom-style games
Appeal: Satan worshipers
Doom 64 features many of the same monsters and weapons as in previous Doom games, but the graphics and maps are brand new.  It's still impossible to jump or look up and down, but because gamepads aren't suited for FPS's, this is probably a good thing.  D64 felt like it would have made a decent PC game.

Goldeneye 007
Rating: 60% (multiplayer only)
Genre: Games that have sold more than 7 million copies
Appeal: Multiplayer mode should appeal to those who haven't played any PC multiplayer game
Keep in mind, I've never actually played this game much in single player mode, but I've played more multiplayer than I would have liked to.  Sure, it's fun to have the other players sitting next to you, but that's about all Goldeneye has going for it.  It's slow, jerky, dull, there's no mouse and WASD keys...  And Jaws creeps me out.

Killer Instinct Gold
Rating: 65%
Genre: Decent N64 fighting games, the smallest genre in existence
Appeal: Not enough people to make this a "Player's Choice" title
Nintendo's KI series was possibly the only fighting game in existence that featured 2D sprites on completely 3D backdrops.  It was also the only fighting game ever (to my knowledge) that allowed for combos upwards of 50 hits.  RARE wisely quit doing fighting games after this one.

The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time
Rating: 95%
Genre: Current #1 spot holders on Next Generation's "Best Games Ever" list
Appeal: If you don't like Zelda, then you can just go inhale some puke
Shigeru Miyamoto is the ultimate Smarty Man Game Designer.  His track record includes about half of the games that brought Nintendo its fortune.  He's the real legend, not that Zelda chick!  All she does is get herself kidnapped by Ganon... sorry, it's "Ganondorf" in this game.

Mario Kart 64
Rating: 70%
Genre: Four-player fabulousness
Appeal: Large groups of people
Don't even think about playing this game by yourself, because when compared to having other people around to play with you, it's about as much fun as falling off a skyscraper onto a bicycle with no seat.  Heh, in the Japanese version, Toad was named Kinopio.

Mortal Kombat 4
Rating: 65%
Genre: Series older than god
Appeal: Well, good ol' Tobias and Boon love their "classic" series a lot
Oh boy!  It's... another Mortal Kombat game.  But wait!  This one's in 3D!...  Which just barely affects the actual gameplay.  Someone has to either fire or kill the guys who created the long line of MK games.  MK4 is fun for a short time, but MK games have lost their novelty.  They're just not the events that they used to be when Acclaim was in charge of the home conversions.

Perfect Dark
Rating: 65% (multiplayer only)
Genre: Semi-sequels
Appeal: Everyone who loved Goldeneye's multiplayer mode
Like Goldeneye, I've never played this game in single player mode.  If you plan on playing multiplayer games, also plan on buying one of them fancy expansion packs.  The environments are more detailed and colorful than in its predecessor, the weapons are more plentiful, and you can add bots.  Still, multiplayer games on a console feel like a poor man's Quake.

Robotron 64
Rating: 65%
Genre: 3D remakes of arcade classics
Appeal: Fans of classics don't like 3D remakes, and kids just don't like classics.  Who bought this?
This game is very similar to the Playstation and PC title Robotron X, but it sports a different publisher 'cuz X didn't sell well.  You assume the role of some professor dude who must frantically blast alien/robot enemies and rescue humans on a square playing field.  Actually, the original game had almost exactly the same feel, except that the camera didn't move around so much.

San Francisco Rush
Rating: 80%
Genre: Games from Atari, which I thought had gone out of business on more than one occasion
Appeal: Nolan Bushnell, who loves to play Atari games while eating Chuck E. Cheese pizza
"Whoa, man!  What a rush!"  San Francisco has always been the world's #1 location for fast cars jumping over big hills.  I vacationed there once, and believe me, it happened a lot!  Watching these speedmobiles was fun until a group of tourists got their brains splattered.  If you want the full San Fran experience, play either Rush or Carmageddon.

Star Fox 64
Rating: 80%
Genre: Animal space combat
Appeal: Frogs, rabbits, etc.
Star Fox was cool on the SNES, but it's even better on a system that's meant for handling polygons.  Shoot your way through multiple paths in different vehicles to the final confrontation with eevil Andross.  This was the first N64 game to make use of the Rumble Pak, not to be confused with the unpopular Furby-esque "Mumble Pak".

Super Mario 64
Rating: 95%
Genre: Former #1 spot holders on Next Generation's "Best Games Ever" list
Appeal: If you don't like Mario, then you can just go drink urine
It's been a whole lot of years since this game was released in '96, and it's still arguably the best 3D platformer around.  It's loads of fun trying to find all 120 stars.  Loads of fun!  If I hadn't sold my N64, I'd probably be playing right now.  Unfortunately, both the system and the game are somewhere in Hawaii about now...

Turok: Dinosaur Hunter
Rating: 70%
Genre: Hunting simulations... no, wait
Appeal: Enough to warrant three N64 sequels, I guess
Now here's a nice, pretty, fun console first-person shooter, and it's definitely better than its PC equivalent, Trespasser.  Basically, Turok walks around picking up artifacts and laying the smackdown (sorry) on killer dinos.  And there's a whole lot of fog, too!  I once met a kid who mistook this game's title for "Torkin".  That made me giggle!

Wave Race 64
Rating: 85%
Genre: Jetski Kombat
Appeal: Uhh... people who like... fun games?
This beautiful N64 game bares little resemblance to its original Game Boy incarnation.  It's a fast-paced ride through the sea complete with rapidly bobbing water.  That's more than I can say for ugly old Jet Moto!  Plus, there's a cheat that allows you to ride the Nintendo Dolphin!

WCW/NWO Revenge
Rating: 50%
Genre: Wrasslin'
Appeal: Fans of wrestling...  The fake kind of wrestling, not the kind with them funny wrasslin' caps
I'm not a fan of wrestling at all, my cousins and I needed something to play.  We had quite a bit of fun with this game, but mostly because of that crazy constipated look eternally plastered on the wrestlers' faces.  The majority of this game seemed to consist of hitting the buttons a lot and hoping to pull off a cool, if gay looking move.